Some scars...

First, a letter I received from one of my students last Friday the 20th of March:

Hi Chirs you are so cute teacher
and very funny and very kind!
You are Tough guy man! I like three teachers
here. Tyler crazy. Adam Tall. Chirs black man.
But, you not in Africa. You are USA? You are Fun.
So many laughs this week. You say you are very funny
and handsome but I think just cute. He-, I joke, you can
be handsome I guess? I will Miss you Chirs teacher.
You are very good!! good!! good!! call me!!.
See you later. Will Smith? He-he.
-Soo Bin-


This particular student spent the majority of the week touching the hair on my arms and smiling. I'm so used to being compared to Will Smith now that I think I've developed some kind of complex. I'm going to have trouble when I get back to the U.S. I've been thinking about it more and more these days. I would be flying home in about one month if the exchange rate was respectable, but it's not so I'm coming back towards the end of July instead. I should be able to push through for three more months. Korea is getting warmer these days and the kids have been great lately.

People think I'm going to crack and take one of the head teacher positions here but that's just not gonna happen. My time in Korea is coming to and end and I'm beyond excited to see where life takes me next. I'm excited to move back to Portland even if it's just for a little while. It's such a good time to move back to the U.S. and look for a job! Don't get me started on that prospect.

So, I just finished watching Slumdog Millionaire for the third time yesterday because some friends who had not seen the movie wanted to watch it on my computer when they came over. I don't lock my door here because it's seriously one of the safest places on the planet (minus that dude to the North who might be just a little bit unstable). Anyways, I don't lock my door and people just stop through to hang out, or borrow my food, or use my computer. Normally, I think that would bother me to no end but I'm used to it now and I could care less. Some of my friends come over to read on my couch or take naps because they live in apartments the size of closets and I have a one bedroom. It's amazing the difference a couch makes when you've gotten used to living in a small room with just a bed and a desk chair.

So I was reading a new book I bought when one of my friends came over and asked if I had slumdog millionaire. I told her "yes" and she opened my fridge, poured herself a big glass of cranberry juice (expensive stuff in Korea) and started watching it. I put my book down and joined her. About half way through the movie another friend stopped by, took my bag of chips out of my kitchen cabinet and sat down next to us and watched the rest of the movie. When the movie finished we all got to talking about India, poverty in general and violence against women. Both my friends were female so they had some interesting things to say.

They were both extremely bothered by the scar on the lead female characters face. I'm not ruining the movie for those of you who have not seen it. My friend who used to work in Turkey told us that sometimes women would be "marked" by their husband for disobeying. My other friend said something like "can you imagine what would happen if people did that to women in the United States?" This question got me thinking and and I said that I was sure things like that did happen in the United States we just don't hear about it very often. My other friend agreed and then told a horrible story about some woman in her town whose husband, no ex-husband, shaved her head after she smiled at another man.

Then I started thinking about the emotional cuts men give women all the time. It happens big time in high school and most people ignore it. Boys break up with girls or get rejected by them and they try to assassinate the girls character. Boys make advances on girls who reject them and then turn around and call them sluts, whores or bitches. They tell lies and try to turn entire groups of people against these young girls. These deeds young men do leave emotional scars that are just as damaging as the physical scars men give. Obviously, I'm not saying all men do this and I'm not saying it's just men but this is where my train of though left me after watching the movie again.

It was a good discussion and it ended with my chip stealing friend proposing that we get married in a couple of years and have all daughters. I told both of them about occurring dream involving the little girl who I think is my daughter and they both said that means I'm going to have sons? I'm not sure why, but I still think I'm probably going to have a little girl one day.

I've met some really good people here. I've met some people who I'm going to stay in contact with when I leave and I've met some people who I'm going to visit and who will visit me when we get back to the states. When I left for Korea almost two years ago I had no idea that I would be here this long or that my life would end up this way. It's been difficult at times but I wouldn't change a thing about my experience here. I think everything that has happened is the way it's supposed to be and it's preparing me for what's to come in my life. I'm still shocked at how some of my friendships have gotten stronger since my absence (I'm not talking about you Alex...you and I are not friends!). I can't wait to come home and have dinner with all of you (not all together) and catch up. Really catch up though, not "going through the motions) catching up. And, I'd like to thank all of you ahead of time for paying for that dinner. That's really nice of you.

As I just typed that last sentence, my friend Tyler (yes I have guy friends too) just walked in and took a beer out of my fridge and sat down at my kitchen table. I guess that means I'm done writing. I hope to talk or hear from most of you in the near future. Until then, stay safe and warm.

Oh Hi, I'm chicken...

I went for a jog today with a friend of mine and my mind is playing tricks on me. I'm about to turn 33 in a few days and I my body hurts. My knee hurts (which isn't anything new) but I also found that I kept thinking that I'm older now so physical things should be more difficult for me. However, the truth is beside the occasional knee problem I feel better than I did when I was in my 20's. When I go jogging with other people they tend to be in their 20's and it feels good to be in as good a shape or better shape then someone who is 26 years old. However, today was not one of those days. Christa is 26 years old and from South Africa. I get the feeling she spent her college years running and when I say running I mean that African kind of running. You know like running miles and miles just to go to the store. I can't compete with that. Of course, my pride forced me to run harder and we ran side by side. We ran for just over 40 minutes and when we finished I could hear my lungs and joints cursing my name. It was a good run, but I am old. I'm not old enough to stop jogging I'm just old enough appreciate the exercise I'm able to do.

Unless some horrible physical ailment befalls me I'm pretty sure I'll be exercising well into old age. It's a life style choice I made long ago without realizing what a good choice it was. I don't smoke, I don't drink often and I work out on a regular basis. I know nothing is guaranteed in life and I could wake up tomorrow with some mass growing inside of my body but I feel happy and healthy. 33 is my favorite number and this year, this month, this week I turn 33. I'm thinking this is my year. I'm excited to see what it brings. Surprises I'm sure. I just hope I make all the right and wrong choices that I'm supposed to make to end up where I'm gonna end up.

So, I've had this reoccurring dream about a little girl with long curly hair and mocha skin for about 5 years now. I've had the dream 4 times this month. It's a simple dream and I always wake up with a confused smile on my face. I'm walking with a little girl holding her hand, or maybe she's holding my hand. She smiles at me and I know that she's my daughter. I bend down so that our eyes are even and she puts her little hands on the side of my jaw and blows in my face. I've had different versions of this dream since I was 28 years old. Every time I wake up I feel like someones watching me. Not in the scary don't open that door you silly white person way, but just in a strange sensation kind of way. Does this mean I have wanted to have a child since I was 28 years old? I doubt that very much. I don't really know what it means, but it always leaves me with a pleasant feeling.

I'm sure I'll be writing a lot in the next couple of days so let me leave you with a new letter from last Sundays group of kids that left. I'm currently on day 7 of my ten days in a row of work. I cannot wait until Friday. I need me a break.



Again, I re-write this letter exactly as it was written to me:


To. Chris W

Oh Hi, I'm chicken (Kim Kyung-June),
when I saw you I felt some horror!
why? Because of your muscles.
However, as time goes, I realized how good you are.
you were good to everyone
not especially for me. That's hard to treat
students like that! How awesome you are!
Additionally, you were good actor too! You pointing
students, make fun of them and give a lot of stickers!
Every students will think you are great teacher.
You say you dont look Will Smith but are you sure?
You funny like Will smith! Maybe Obama like you?
I don't no but I love you anyways. Good bye!

I'll allow it...

I have returned to working the 9-5 shift which means I have homerooms during the work week. I love the 9-5 shift because it allows me to finish work while it's still light outside. It also gives me more face time with the kids which I don't mind so much these days. At the end of the week for the classes last homeroom class they are given make shift post cards and have the opportunity to write any teacher they want at my work place a note. The homeroom teacher then gathers up the post cards and gives whoever the kids wrote to the post card. So basically, every Friday, teachers get post cards from kids they taught during the week. I hate to admit this but I have not been saving these post cards during my time here but I think I'm going to start because some of these cards are hilarious. Here's my favorite post card from this week. Again, to do justice to the letter I'm going to write it exactly as the student did....(this is not to make fun of the kid, because after all, her English is 100 times better than my Korean)


Dear Chris W



Hellow Chris W, my name is Lim So-Yeon you our home room teacher. I like you but you don't like me you call me 'bad girl smart girl' but I'm not bad. You look like Will Smith. Do you remember me. I am smart and clear girl. You have nice body you are my style. You nice boy! I'm glasses and pretty. You know me? Don't forget me...you are funny teacher. You learn Korean and we talk on phone. Marry me! I love you. Goodbye Chris Teacher.



This month I will turn 33. If you could go back in time and find 16 year old Chris and ask him what he was going to be doing when he was 33 years old there is no way I would have said this. Korea? Really? Teaching? No way! But...surprise is the frosting of life. I've had my share of frosting over the past two years and I suspect there is much more to come. I know I don't want to be a teacher but I feel like this job and jobs like it will point me down the right path.

This week I found out that I will have another opportunity to teach in a foreign land come early next year if I want to. A good friend of mine here has parents who live and work in Abu Dhabi at a school run by Canadians. The school teaches adults mainly and come Feb. 2010 they will be filling a few positions one of which is mine if I want it. I'm leaving myself some major wiggle room and her parents (who work in administration there) told me I wouldn't have to decide until December which is really nice. The truth is, the job pays a ridiculous amount of money. I've always wanted to go to the Middle East and I could travel to some pretty awesome locations if I lived there for a couple of years. But...I just don't know if I want to teach any more. When I go home in August I'm going to search very hard for a job that I can feel good about and does not require a suit. I wouldn't mind putting one on every once in a while but I can't earn my living in an office...not that anythings wrong with that. It's just not for me. So that's where I'm at right now. Living in Korea a little longer than I expected to be. Missing the United States a little more than I expected to be, and moving to the Middle East if I don't find a job by next year. Wow. The frosting gets thicker and thicker!

So earlier in the week, I went into the city with a friend of mine to get some dinner and do a little shopping. While we were there she stopped in to a hair salon to get her hair trimmed quickly. One of the stylist took her away the instant we walked in and I was left to sit by myself and wait. This was my first time in a Korean hair salon...it was extremely entertaining. Once the customers and stylists got sick of staring at me they went back to their normal behaviors. I don't think they get many bald black men in this salon so I was sensitive to their need to ogle me. However, if you could have seen what these stylist were wearing and the hair cuts they were giving you would have been shocked that I was the one being looked at. I have never seen so much tacky in one room in my life. This one dude had a hair cut like a lion. He dyed his hair orangish-brown and he literally looked like a lion. The only things louder than the hair in this salon were the clothes people were wearing. It was like the bar scene in Star Wars.

But it was also another great reminder to me that people are just different and there's nothing wrong with that. So, I might think the way someone is dressed is tacky as hell, but who cares. After all, I was the one being stared at like an oddity in that situation. It's all relative. From their perspective "lion-man" was a normal occurrence and I wouldn't change that for the world. People should be allowed to be who they are. People should not be mistreated or dehumanized because of who they are. Maybe the word "allowed" isn't right. Allowed makes it sound like another group should have dominance over the other. Like a parent, allowing their child to stay at a friends house. But when you are equals there is no "allowing" there's just people being people doing what people do. You can either accept that or not but it is not up to you to allow anything.

The reason I'm writing this way is because the California Supreme Court is about to weigh in on the Gay Marriage ban in the state. You don't have to like gay people and you don't have to like heterosexual people but you do not have the right to restrict the rights of human beings. The fact that the courts are deciding whether or not to "allow" gay human beings the right to marry is shameful. It's shameful plain and simple. It was just as shameful to deny certain groups the right to vote or the right to own property. The person who finds themselves believing that they have the right to deny or allow a group of human beings the right to marry based on their being or not being gay is on the wrong side of history.

Discrimination, hate, prejudice, bigotry and intolerance have been used time and time again as protection for the group. So I ask you this, do we want to be a member of a group that uses such tactics to maintain itself? I sure as hell don't.