Truth be told...

What do you think it is about human beings that makes us not want to hear the truth? I have been listening to the news a lot lately and I hear all the candidates making promises about this and promises about that. We all know that there is no way these people will be able to fulfill all of the promises they are making but we still applaud anyways. And I'm talking about ALL the candidates. I'm sure by now you know I like Obama but he is not without sin here. They are all offenders. But...we the people don't really want to hear the truth. Not the whole truth. So the Democratic nominees are forced to say things like they will pull us out of Iraq right away. And McCain says foolish things like we are winning in Iraq. I think we all know that we can no withdraw from Iraq instantly. That is just not realistic. It's not practical and it's untruthful to make such a promise. On the flip-side of that, for McCain to make statements like he recently did that we are winning in Iraq is just flat out insulting.

Why can't these people be honest. We made a huge mistake. Lies were told and fears were played on. Lies are still being told and fears are still being played on. The fact is peoples emotions were taken advantage of after things went down in New York. We wanted revenge on someone and the whole thing played out like a movie. It was even presented to us like a movie. How many times did you watch the buildings fall down or the planes slam into the side of them? Then there was Bush's speech and the remix which was put to music. Yes. Music. Do you remember that? Young men and women enlisted to "go and fight the terrorist" at an increased rate for a while. I seem to remember that after "Top Gun" came out the Airforce got a bump in enlistments. I think for most people when they see something on TV or they hear something on the radio they assume that it must be true and they do not question the validity of the thing they heard or saw. Look at the 1938 radio broadcast of "War of the Worlds". People actually believed that the earth was being invaded by Aliens because that is what they heard being played out on the radio. Mass hysteria people. Jump ahead almost 70 years and people are invading another country because they believe it is the only option available to us. I recently saw an advanced copy of this documentary called "Body of War" and if and when you get the chance to see it I suggest you do. Watch it with an open mind and come to your own conclusions. The movie concerns real people who are fighting the terrorist over there so we don't have to fight them over hear. These people who come back real life reminders of the mistakes we have made and continue to make concerning this "War on Terror". I think that is why we don't see or hear much about returning soldiers. It shines a glorious light on our skeletons in the closet.

I wish I was back in college sometimes because I feel like there is so much material to write papers about. From a sociological standpoint, a psychological background, a conflict resolutions bases paper....man, there is so much to research and document. But I have no reason to write a paper so I blog. I sit here along the border of South Korea and North Korea and I blog about the things that pop into my head on a given day.

I think living in South Korea and in particular living so close to North Korea (they are less then ten miles away from my apartment) puts some things into perspective for me. Recently (two days ago) North Korea fired off some short range missiles into the sea. In short, this was their response to South Korean and American demand for more disclosure about their nuclear program. Is it somewhat frightening that North Korea could if they wanted to invade (very quickly I might add) the country I am presently living in? Sure. If they crossed the border I would stand out like a black person in a sea of Koreans. It would not be hard to find me and if I wasn't killed you might see me on the TV with a gun pointed to my head talking about "America, stop your quest for world domination". I don't really think it's going to come to that but it crosses my mind every so often. North Korea has accused South Korea's Navy of crossing the boundary recently and has threatened a naval clash. The tension between these two countries is like that of two disputing brothers. I bring this up because being so close to this dispute makes me realize how much influence the United States has in this world. I mean, we just piss people off sometimes. And, sometimes we do it on purpose. We stick our noses into pretty much everything. As an American living in America you see this happening by reading the paper or watching the news, but when you are an American living in the country that the United States is meddling in you have a whole new perspective because you are directly affected by it.

The Darker the Berry the Sweeter the Juice???

I've got another cold. This one is very minor but annoying none the less. I swear to God this country is unhealthy. I have never been sick like this. I never got sick back in Portland, never. I don't know if it the yellow dust they have in the atmosphere out this way or what but Korea has not been friendly to my immune system. Poor me. Anyways, this week was an interesting one at my work place. We had a lot of low level English kids and they were pretty bad (not well behaved) for Korean kids. It's still funny to refer to kids as bad, because Korean bad kids are like regular kids in the United States.
Working at a lock down facility was one of the best things I've ever done in my life. The job was horrible and the pay was even worse, but it prepared me to deal with pretty much any situation involving kids. I think it should be a requirement if you work with kids to have to work in a teen group home, a residential center or a lock down psychiatric evaluation ward like I did in Portland. I should write a book about that time. These kids were fucked up. I know that's probably not the politically correct thing to say but it's so true. The thing is none of it was their fault. The kids we got, with the exception of two or three, in the 3 years I worked lock down were messed up by adults. They were either forced to take drugs, rapped, molested, mentally and/or physically abused....unfortunately the list could go on and on. Now, I don't know what this says about me but even knowing all the horrible things that happened to these young boys and girls didn't stop me from hating the really bad ones. I couldn't stand those little messed up bastards. I treated them well. I was never unprofessional, but I really could not stand some of those punks.
This might sound odd to some of you but I think that's why I was able to work there for 3 years. Most people don't last six months in that kind of work. I never took anything those little shits said into my heart. I never reacted to the ridiculously inappropriate things they would say. Also, I was not there to save anyone. I didn't think it was possible or even my job to save these kids. Does that sound harsh? So be it. But the people who worked there and tried to "save kids" ended up leaving with the quickness. Lots of them also ended up getting hurt...I mean "have to go to the hospital hurt." I figured I was there to keep these kids safe and learn what I could in that environment. I learned a lot working there. I never pretended to like a kid if I didn't and in the end I think they appreciated that about me.

I witnessed some staff people do some pretty messed up things. They abused their power in my opinion. They would purposely blow a kid out they didn't like. "Blowing a kid out consist of pushing the right buttons and having that kid explode in anger and then they get sent to THE SAFE ROOM". The safe room was an isolation room that locked if they tried to leave without permission. I would just always tell kids that they had a choice. Sometimes they listened and sometimes they didn't. I understand that if you're young, being abused and have never had the ability to choose before suddenly having choices can be very difficult. I always reminded myself of this and tried to keep it in mind when some of these kids would go ape shit on the unit. But sometimes....sometimes you just fucking can't stand a kid.

That little rant has nothing to do with this week except for the fact that there were some real asshole kids this week and I can't say we have had many of those since I started working here. I got yelled at for the first time by a girl student this week. Funny story actually...went a little something like this:

Girl: Teacher, where are you from?
Me: (Thinking to myself) Awww shit. This little bitch is about to throw some Africa shit at me!
Girl: Teacher? Did you hear? Where are you from?
Me: I am from the U-S-A.
Girl: (with a huge look of disbelief on her face) But...no...you have black face (moves her hands over her own face)
Me: Yes...I am black, that is why my face is black. I am from the United States....
Girl: No, you are from Africa.
Me: Nope, sorry, I'm from the U.S.A. All people who have dark skin are not from Africa.
Girl: No, teacher, you are from Africa, you black face.
Me: (thinking to myself) Look bitch...have you even ever met a Black African?
Me: Hey, where are you from?
Girl: (laughing) I am Korea.
Me: You are from Korea.
Girl: Yes, I am from Korea.
Me: Are you sure? You are not Chinese?
Girl: (Angry and loud) No! No Chinese. I am Korean!
Me: OK. I am not African. I am from the U-S-A. Just like all Black people are not from Africa, all who have features like you are not from China.
Girl: (Angry) I am Korean! What is "features" mean?
Me: I know you are Korean and I am American. Features is what someone looks like physically. Like skin color, hair color, the size of your ears, nose....understand?
Girl: (lying) Yes...
Me: (thinking to myself) No you don't.
Me: Remember, Asia is very big and there are a lot of people in Asia, but you do not all live in the same country or look exactly alike right?
Girl: Asia is very big...I am from Korea.
Me: And I am from America
Girl: But you have Black face.
Me: (thinking to myself) what if I slapped this bitch? Hmmmm. I've gotta stop saying and thinking swear words so much.
Me: Yeah....I have black face.


Sometimes these kids either get it or they don't. Most of the time they make the connection after I remind them that all Asian people are not one thing but this girl was annoying the hell out of me and just could not wrap her head around the fact that a Black person could live outside of Africa. This country has huge issues with dark skin in general. The whiter your skin the better. They have umbrellas in the summer so their skin doesn't tan. There really no such thing as tanning beds here and kids are made fun of if they have darker skin. A dark Korean is the color a normal looking white person by the way. They want to be powder white for some reason.

There are some foreign teachers who believe that Koreans stare at all foreigners the same. This is simply not true. I have never once heard a Korean walk up to a white foreigner and say "Africa?". I have never once heard a Korean go up to a white teacher and say in broken English "What up Yo'?" I have also never heard a Korean call a white teacher a monkey. Today I was simply not in the mood. I don't get angry really I feel kind of sad for these kids. It's the year 2008 and they have all this technology at their fingertips. The country is surging ahead on the world market and they don't know how to talk to or react to foreign people who don't look like Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie. This is going to be a huge disadvantage in the coming years because the world ain't getting any whiter people. Remember: One day we are all going to be brown.

Anyways, my nose is running and the ol' stomach is doing some funny things right now so I should get going. I'll leave you with one last statement that has nothing to do with what I have been talking about. I hope Obama and Clinton can learn to just shut the fuck up and wish each other luck in the coming nomination. I'm sick of both of them at this point...which isn't a good sign.

In the future we will all be brown

I recently listened to one speech and read another. I read some of George W's speech about the positive outcomes of the War in Iraq and I listened to Obama's recent speech addressing race in America. Allow me to comment on Bush's speech first. You'll notice that he did not mention Weapons of Mass Destruction one time. Why? Because even the Rush Limbaugh doesn't believe that shit any more. He still tried to connect Saddam Hussein to 911 which in my opinion is an insult to everything that we now know. Bush has survived this long because of two things. The first is fear. He loaded our plates with it and we shoved it into our mouths mindlessly. The second reason Bush as survived this long is because the United States media is more concerned with Brittney Spears vagina then what our government is doing over seas and to the Constitution of the United States.

But lets be clear on one thing, the media has been encouraged to dumb down their reporting. They have been encouraged by us. I am not blameless in this scenario. I have seen the pictures of the stars who have fallen so far from their former glory. My attention has been held by the reports of who is dating who, or who cheated on who, or who was caught drunk driving where. But, this kind of "info-tainment" is no substitute for good, objective news reports. These reports have been harder and harder to come by in the past decade or so. It seems that congress and the media are more interested in who took fucking steroids while playing professional baseball then finding out who deleted emails that were legally supposed to be preserved. Congress and the media have been more interested in stopping one woman from being disconnected to artificial life support after a decade of being in a coma by her husband, then investigating an administration who has repeatedly told lies to the American people and the American government, had those lies caught on tape, and then repeated those lies over and over and over. Just when I find myself losing all hope comes comes a speech like the one I heard Obama give.

Obama was addressing reports about some "inflammatory" statements the pastor at his church made regarding race (black vs white) in America. What I enjoyed about Obama's speech was that he denounced the words his pastor said but not the person. He told the crowd that this was not the first time he has disagreed with something this man has said and it probably wouldn't be the last. Obama was then able to do something that doesn't happen much in todays political arena. He talked about the issue. The media tried to turn it into another circus event and Obama addressed the issue and did so in a way I have not heard by a public figure who has "so much to lose". I have officially become an Obama fan, but I can not say who I'm going to vote for yet.

He didn't just talk about the fact that so many of the large disparities between people of color and white people in the United States can be linked directly to the fact that people of color were systematically prevented from participating in the pursuit of happiness. Prevented from owning land, voting, going to school, passing on property and money, taking care of their health needs, the list could go on and on. The fact of the matter is people did not start on equal footing in the history of this country and it's important that this be acknowledged. HOWEVER, we can not forget those who overcame this reality and created a better one for their children.

Obama then did something I think was very brave. He addressed the frustration White America feels regarding the racial divide and he did it in a way I think only a person of color could have done. By the way, I use the term "person of color" because this is not just a black issue. I have borrowed this term from one of my favorite Professors from graduate school. Anyways, Obama talked about the fact that many of today's white Americans are paying for the "sins of the father". This is not to say that White folks do not directly benefit from the mere fact they are white. But, it is long past time to move on from this standstill we are in. We have been in this standstill for a couple generations. That's my feeling anyways. I like White people. Nothing is going to change if PEOPLE are not allowed to communicate their feelings. This is never going to happen if White people fear being labeled as racist every time they open their mouths about something that has to do with non white people. This is why, I made sure that dumb ass dude who called Andrew a dirty fucking Mexican understood that I was not calling him a racist but that I was calling him a stupid mother fucker who said something offensive and ignorant.

White people fear the "R" word and I can't blame them. Being labeled a racist is devastating in most circles in the USA. It's a life killer. And truth be told, there have been some people of color who have taken advantage of this fact. Yeah, I said it....and it's true. We all know it is, it's just more acceptable for me to say so. Everybody is oppressed by the way our world works. Some of us feel the sting a little more but we are all getting stung. No one has cornered the market on pain, frustration, anger, sadness or disappointment. Now I'm not saying we all need to hold hands but I honestly believe the world is going to be full of all caramel colored people one day. That is if we don't destroy the planet's ecosystem first (I give us a 45% chance). That's right, one day, we will all be a lovely golden brown color, but first we need to be able to have open and honest communication. The fear factor needs to be eliminated. We have to want more and expect more of ourselves and others....all others.

Old age and the same old song

Well, well, well. Another nail is quickly being hammered into my coffin. In Korean time I will be 32 years old in less then 24 hours. I must enjoy this last day as a 31 year old man. Once you turn 32 it's all downhill! Where did my youth go? Where? It seems like only yesterday I was riding my big-wheel around Durand Street searching for grasshoppers, putting bumble bee's in jars, figuring out a way to invent time travel. Now look at me....I'm living in Korea. I have no grasshoppers, no bumble bees, and the science of time travel has eluded me all these years. Damn you time travel, damn you to hell!!!!!

In the movies they always show all the things that would go wrong if you changed even the smallest of events in one life. Well it's a good thing I have not figured out how to do it yet because I would be causing ripples son. Ripples! No, not really. It would be interesting to witness a couple events in my life and before I was born but I wouldn't try to change anything. Anyways, back to the present. The older I get the more comfortable I am in my skin. Some recent events have happened that confirm this fact for me.

I am confronting things I may have let slide in the past. I don't care about being popular (although I always seem to be....must be a gift I have), I don't need to be the funniest guy in the room (again, I always seem to be, I don't know why? Just blessed I guess), and I don't care if what needs to be said is going to make things uncomfortable. Last week someone who I work with and who is becoming a friend of mine (if you know me at all you know I don't drop the "friend word" as easily as some people do", this can be both a good thing and a bad thing) was publicly disrespected in a way I could not keep my mouth shut about. There is a local pub on the grounds of the place I work at. I do not frequent this establishment because I have lost my taste for the booze...and I can't stand to be around drunk people who smoke, or sober people who smoke for that matter. Anyways, this teacher is of Mexican decent. He happens to be the only Mexican American at the school I work at. Remember we have people from all over, South Africans, Brits, Aussie's, New Zealanders, Americans, Canadians, etc. Now it just so happens that earlier in the evening I had gone out to dinner with three guys I get along with well at my job. This teacher was one of them. We had been talking about many things that night and one of those things was the pressure you can feel when you do not fit into the stereotype that most people associate with people who look like you. For this particular teacher of Mexican decent he had always felt stuck in the middle of two worlds. Some of his family and close friends had made fun of him for "sounding white" (which by the way is one of the dumbest and dangerous accusations a community of non white people can make). I can relate to this accusation of course. You know we are in trouble if speaking English and getting good grades is looked at as something to reject. I remember hearing stories from my dad growing up who had to hide the fact he was smart in his Detroit neighborhood. It makes me sad to think that in some areas this has not changed for young men and women of color.

Again, I digress. So we are walking back to the campus grounds having a wonderful conversation. Another teacher who is from Tennessee but grew up in South Korea was talking with me and this other teacher about his lack of connection to American Racism and Prejudices. You have to admit, America does these two things very, very well. For recent example feel free to research all the events of this most recent presidential election cycle. He is a white man who grew up going to school in south Korea into his teenage years. We all tackled this acknowledgment as we walked home and I decided this guy had received a wonderful gift. Now, it is my belief that in this current world environment no one can escape the clutches of the "isms", but there are varying degrees of them. I think he has lesser degrees then most Americans because he was no saturated in the hate and mistrust that infects our country. He hates people because of who they are not what they are. This is my motto by the way. Dislike someone because they are an asshole, not because they are white, black, brown, gay, Muslim, Canadian, etc.

So, we all decided to play Spades ( a card game) in the pub. There were a lot of people in the pub that night so we found a table in the front. The back was full of intoxicated people singing and playing the guitar; all teachers or school staff by the way. So we are playing cards for about ten minutes when this new teacher (a white dude from Canada...I give this description because I feel it is important to the story) walks from the back room up to our table. At this point, the teacher from Tennessee had stepped outside to have a smoke and talk to his wife on the phone, the other teacher who we were playing Spades with was eating a burger, and I was talking to Andrew about something random. Andrew is Mexican American. So this guy from the back room comes up to the table and starts shooting the shit. Now one thing I'm good at and have always been good at is reading people and situations. I knew instantly, something was going to happen. I wasn't sure how big or what exactly but my Spider Sense was activated.

So this guy and Andrew start talking about a motorbike they had both been interested in buying but Andrew bought ended up buying it. Remember this guy has been in South Korea for maybe two weeks now. He looks at me and says "I was going to buy the bike but this dirty fucking Mexican bought it first". Now I looked at Andrew who was smiling and I was shocked by the smile. I said something like, "wow, interesting way of putting that. what does his race have to do with anything?" This comment put the Canadian dude on the defensive right away. He said, "I'm not racist!" I replied, "I didn't say you were racist, I asked you a question." I looked at Andrew again who was still smirking and then I thought these guys might have that kind of relationship with each other so I said, "Oh, I didn't realize you guys were tight like that?" Andrew quickly said, "We're not". So this guy is still talking to me about how he is not a racist (which I never thought or said) and I'm staring at him like he was about to burst into flames (this is what Andrew told me later). Here's the thing that really bugged me...actually there were several things that bothered me. First of all, one of the things this guy said after it was obvious his comment wasn't going over well was that he was just joking around and I could call him "a fat Russian if I wanted to". I mean, what the fuck was that about. First of all, why the fuck would I can him a fat Russian. That's just dumb, and it does not carry any of the issues and history his dumbass comment to Andrew carries. People don't think when they talk man. So he kept coming back to the table for the next twenty minutes apologizing, but he was apologizing to me! Andrew, kept smiling and told the guy it wasn't a big deal but it was. And he later said he didn't like the comment. But Andrew has felt very isolated on this campus and when people comment on his Mexican heritage (which they do a lot for some reason, I can't figure it out) he doesn't say anything to them. He doesn't tell them that he doesn't appreciate people, in particular, white people, joking around with him being Mexican. He just smiles and changes the subject or sometimes jokes back. That is the corner he's in at the moment. We talked about this and he doesn't like it but also doesn't want to make people uncomfortable. So I'm thinking, you would rather be made fun of and uncomfortable yourself then have other people be uncomfortable and possibly upset for a while? As judgmental as I got towards Andrew in that moment I could still understand where he was coming from. It is hard to stand up for yourself sometimes, especially when you feel all alone. He is a foreigner among foreigners in a foreign land. There is no one on the campus who really understands what he must feel like. I can empathize but I'm not Mexican American. I have other black people on the campus I can talk to about things I notice or the way I feel that directly relates to my being black. Andrew does not have this luxury. And for those of you reading this wondering what the big deal is or who don't understand what I'm talking about, that is the very definition of being in a privileged position. You have the ability to remain ignorant. This comment is not meant to be offensive by the way and if you got offended you are obviously reading one of my blogs for the first time.

I let Andrew know that I've got his back. I also let him know that people are going to continue to say things to him like that until he makes it very clear that he is not down with that kind of talk. I asked him if he thought anyone at this school would ever "joke around" with me like that and he said "no". I asked him why and he said because he's more social than I am. Now that is a very telling statement. That means to be social at my work means people, in particular, white people can make jokes about your ethnic background? What the fuck? There are only 12 non white teachers among the foreign teachers who I work with. 11 are black and that leaves Andrew. Again, I can not imagine how he feels. He said his being Mexican is very important to who he is and he has no one who he can talk to about this who will truly understand where he's coming from. All I can do I be present as someone who has similar experiences and someone who will stand up with him if and when he ever decides to stand up for himself.

As far as the guy who made the comment, I can tell I'm going to have to talk to him about what he said and why I had a problem with it. It is important that I remember not to yell at him or make him feel as low as his comment was. I want my message to penetrate his shell and not bounce off in a defensive move.

I sometimes think about all the stupid, offensive things I've said to people in my youth and all the stupid offensive things I will probably say in my old age. As I come closer to having one foot in the grave I can only hope that when it is time for me move on from this world I will have learned as much as I could have from the human experience.

Blog Simple

I have been having some trouble lately with my thoughts. I am not really sure what I want to say but I feel like sharing. I've written two blogs that I have not published and although my gut tells me I'll publish this blog I can't be sure. The words seem to stick these past weeks. I'm not sure if I can explain it better then that. A lot has happened but I don't really know what to write, I just know I want to write. I also want to hear back from people. I want to know what is going on in your lives. I hear whispers from across the Ocean but it is always good to hear from the source directly. Since my departure babies have been born and people have started new jobs. Nieces are getting older and parents are having birthdays. So share with me, I am genuinely interested in what is happening in your life...except you Alex!

Korea is a strange land full of strange rules. I could never live here an extended time period. I knew this in the first month or so that I lived here. It's just not a good fit for my personality. That is not to say I'm not enjoying myself. It is and I hope will continue to be a very educational experience for me but I doubt I will be traveling back this way once my time is up.

I was offered a new job working with adults at my current work place. I turned it down because I enjoy interacting with young adults. I've been training with the adults for this past week and it has been long. I have enjoyed it when they handed some classes over to me but I don't think I fit in the department. I was surprised they offered me the job actually. Especially since I never asked for it or showed any interest in working there.

It wasn't a position that paid more or put me into a leadership position. It's kind of weird how Koreans do business. This particular job I turned down is highly competed for at my job among foreign folk like myself. But that has nothing to do with getting picked to train for the position. Administration picks who they want to be trained. Now...I've never met any one from administration. All I know is that they are all Korean and they watch us on the CTV's. There are camera's and microphones in all of the classrooms around my work place. So they watch you and if they like what they see you get plucked out of your teaching schedule and are sometimes forced to work programs you don't want to do. This is what happened to me except I told them I had no interest in working at this particular program and they looked shocked. People don't say 'no' very often in this country. Korean people don't say no very often I mean. But you would think they would interview people who wanted the job right? Nope, that's not how this place works. They don't do resumes and you get jobs randomly or by taking test.

It is my theory that practices like these will be their downfall in the end. Their technology is extremely advanced but the social structure is pretty fucked up. If the boss wants to go drinking then everybody has to go drinking. Even if you don't want to. You can't say no, you could get in trouble. Drinking is a huge part of Korean culture. I mean they get hammered! I think the more people drink the less I want to.

I am ready for the warm weather though. It needs to stay warm already. If anyone is planning on visiting Korea one day don't let my comments turn you off. I've met some really great people and I've heard there are some beautiful places to see, I just have not seen any yet. I got here when the weather turned cold and I don't think this country is at its best in the winter time. I am looking forward to the spring and summer season.

I will write more when I have more to say, until then take care of yourself and have daily adventures. Even if that adventure is simply walking around your block, you never know who you might bump into.

Music and Lyrics

I'm on a break from work but I have to write about this while it's still fresh in my brain. Korea, although more technologically advanced then the U.S. is about twenty five years behind us in every other way. From clothing style, to hair cuts, to the music. It's the music that is getting to me today. They love the eighties over here man. I mean LOVE. Every where I go I hear eighties music. I was working out in the gym this morning and I swear to God they play nothing but songs from Brat Pack movies. That's the other odd thing, they just don't play eighties music they play soundtracks from eighties movies. These are songs that you didn't hear on the radio back then. I think I'm having such a severe reaction to this special form of punishment because, as many of you know, I've seen every movie ever made. To make things worse I love eighties movies so I recognize every bad song they pump through the speakers.

And another thing, the up to date music that they play in department stores and the grocery store are totally inappropriate but since it's in English most of the people don't understand what's being said. I was shopping recently and heard some of the foulest words and no one even batted an eye lash. They just like the beats...I can't really blame them for that. Who doesn't like a good beat? Gotta go!

If you can't say anything nice

I have not written in a while because I have not really had anything nice to say about anything. I've been spitting acid lately and I'm just now getting over myself. I didn't want to fill up blog after blog about all the things that bother me so I just didn't write for a while. But now, the weather is getting warmer and the sun is shinning brightly almost ever day. We've had really good luck at my job and have been getting in great groups of kids lately so that makes the job better. But most of all I recently started the day shift, the 9-5 shift and it is wonderful. I'm a big morning person so I'm already up by six most days anyways. I love the shift because I get to teach more classes and I don't have to do all the annoying activities the 1-9/weekend teachers have to put up with.

I wouldn't say I've been homesick but I've been here since October of 2007 and I'm not as....impressed as I was in the beginning. I'm sure if I reviewed my blogs (which I wont) I would find a steady downslope about my opinion of South Korea. Don't get me wrong, it's not horrible but there are many other places I would like to visit and I would NEVER live here. The people are O.K. I have not been mistreated badly, but a large majority of the country is full of trash. Unless you get out to the country there is trash every where. Being a clean freak I can't stand that. Sanitation is not very big over here and the weird thing is they are a modern country. But they still use bar soap in the public bathrooms and they don't disinfect areas. Custodians use the same mop over and over again, they do not use bleach and the don't dump their buckets of nasty water out. Now I'm sure there are some areas that are very clean and sanitary but I have not found them. I went to the dentist and I had to ask the people to put gloves on before they touched my mouth. I think this is why Americans might come off as assholes, but I'm not going to have a fucking stranger who just coughed into their hand then use that hand to probe around with inside my mouth. I'll start an international incident if need be.

Danielle and I went looking for some vitamins and supplements....it did not end well. Danielle summed it up to me when she said something like, "they act like vitamins are brand new, so they price them really high". She was looking for zinc pills and I was looking for glucosamine pills. I found some for around 120 dollars for 80 pills. Now...what the fuck? In the States, these pills would cost me around 30 bucks for 100 and I could find them on sale for around 19.99 if I looked hard enough. Danielle was telling me last night that she wanted to buy a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and they were asking for 200 dollars. I mean that is absurd!

There has been a mass exodus of foreign teachers from my job because contracts were ending and many people did not renew. I've been asked by a lot of people to apply for a head teacher position that is opening up but I don't think I have the patience at this time to supervise folks. I'm thinking about it but not seriously right now. The main problem at this job is that the foreign teachers treat administration like they are Westerners and administration treats the foreign teachers like we are Koreans. We are both wrong and nothing really gets done because of it. There have been a lot of problems because there is no one who can bridge the gap that exist between the two groups. It's odd to have the tools to do something about a problem but not the motivation. I really need to get off my ass and offer some help. Then maybe my 150,000 dollar education will come in handy. There is a lot of blaming going around but we're both to blame really.

This little adventure has been stressful at times but I'm sure it will make me a better person in the end. I appreciate my country more but I still am not ready to return. There are too many other places I want to check out right now. I do feel my age creeping up on me though. I'm old. I don't have much to show for it either. I have to put some of my sperm in a freezer just in case I die. That way my blood line will go on! I would say just kidding, but those of you who know me know that I am not kidding. I don't feel the need to pursue the American dream (whatever that is) but I do feel this need to have a deeper understand of the people in my life. My dad just turned 57 (I think), but I feel like every year he turns 57. I feel like I've been waiting to hear my parents are 60 years old but it never seems to come.

People at my school are from all over the world and it is very interesting to hear their opinion of the United States. Especially with the elections coming up. I can honestly say that our country has a lot of diplomacy to do for at least the next decade. We have a lot of bridges to rebuild and a reputation to clean up. I won't go into some long political tirade but I will say this....no matter who ends up with the trophy in the end, they better care more about world then they do about themselves or their close friends. There is a reason high school is for the young. When you're old and you still act like you're in high school, no good will come of that. Especially when you're the president of a very large and powerful country.

I have finally found some "friends of color" again. I have not had many friends who were black since high school. I took that time of my life for granted. I had no idea it would take until I was in my thirties to have black friends again. Who knew all I had to do was move to Korea for a year. I should have known though, everybody knows if you're looking for black friends you should go to Korea??? Seriously though, it's nice. I know way too many white people, I'm going to have to start cutting some of you loose. Sorry Alex...you knew you'd be first on my list. I'll keep Anya though, I've always like her more than you anyways.

Danielle is finally in her "permanent" city and job. Of course, with the luck she has had in Korea that could change. I don't know how she's stayed as stable as she has but she did. She had to switch jobs because her recruiter messed up her original contract. All the problems were stressful at times but I think she's over the hump now. She has just started teaching Kindergarten this week. She has her own class of 11 little Koreans who speak no English what so ever. Those kids are lucky as hell because I know she's going to make sure they have a great year. She's going to start training for some marathon in October which means I'm going to start running more often too. This isn't because I'm running in the marathon, I'm not, it's because I'm super competitive and I refuse to let her get into way better shape then me....so I will train too! Don't tell her.

Well, it's getting late and I've had a long day. I'm sure I will write more often now that I've sat with my displeasure of certain things for a while.