I'm over myself...

Here's what happens when one has a roll over in a taxi. First, the person in the actual accident begins to re-evaluate certain things in their life. For me, I'm realizing that some of the things which have been haunting me really shouldn't have power over my life any more. Some of the things I spend my time and energy thinking about don't require that much space or thought. But most of all, I'm beginning to realize that I actually could be hurt serious at any moment and it would be a shame to have to leave this planet at this point in my life. I've talked to some of you on Skype and I've heard from some of you through email messages. I appreciate the concern and the overall communication in general.

The second thing that happens when a person is in an accident, at least in my case, is that "old man" crushes seem to increase in their numbers. The amount of visitors I've had since Sunday has increase about 70%. Keep in mind that although I'm sore and have a couple of deep bruises in my chest area I'm fine. But, I've had more cookies and other food gifts coming through my door than I did for my Thanksgiving Party. I will never turn down food, especially homemade cookies in a country where ovens are few and far between. I love food and I love sweets and now I have a room full of these things. The strangeness comes when young ladies sit me down on the couch with a very serious expression on their faces. There's a well placed hand on my thigh, a deep look into my eyes, and/or a quick slide so that our hips are touching. They then tell me all the horrible things that could have happened to me and how lucky I am to still be alive. Of course I feel lucky and blessed to have walked away from an accident and I appreciate their concern and I'm tickled by the attempted drama but I'm still stuck when it comes to the ladies.

One of my friends likes to tell me that I have too many female friends. This is ironic because she's a female and a really good friend. I have another friend (female) who tells me I just need to get over myself and then everything will just "fall into place." I love my friends and I love all the advice I get. Sometimes I get the feeling some of them are writing papers about me to be submitted in Psychology Today but I'm sure that's just paranoia. In my defense I would like to say that I don't agree that I need to "get over myself." At least not when it comes to women. I do have a very high opinion of myself in most matters but not when it comes to the ladies. By no means do I think I'm unattractive, I'm one sexy, bald headed black man! But, I've always had discomfort with women who express attraction towards me and I think maybe that's what I need to get over. I'm awesome! I'm just awesome and there's nothing I can do about that. I need to accept my awesomeness and move on.

So, this year, I'm going to work on feeling comfortable around women who are actually attracted to me. That's not as easy at it sound folks. I'd like to thank the bad driving skills of Korean cab drivers for this shift in my consciousness.