But you are kind to me anyways

I've been thinking a lot lately about the fact that I would be flying home in less than 3 weeks if I was not about to re-sign a 3 month contract in hopes of getting a little better exchange rate. The fact that the job market back in the U.S. seems to be at a low doesn't really make me want to rush back home either. I almost didn't have a choice in the matter actually. I almost was not going to be allowed to re-sign but luckily I've become pretty proactive when it comes to certain things in my life. These past two weeks have been kind of difficult because I had to deal with some strange Korean cultural difference when it comes to professional work behavior. I came out of it knowing without a doubt that I will not be returning to this country ever again once I leave it. But I also came out of these past two weeks realizing that I really am an adult now and I can take care of myself better than I thought.

When I was in the 4th grade and attending St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic School or "Hell on Earth" as I like to call it, a teacher tried to make me confess to something I did not do. I remember an overwhelming feeling of frustration during that time and even after it was shown I had nothing to do with what I was being intimidated to confess to I was still treated like I had done something wrong. I think one of the hardest things for people to do is to admit they made a mistake and that they are wrong. Nobody likes to be wrong. I don't, but I try hard to admit when I'm wrong and to really mean my apology.

Basically wheat happened with me is that some Korean teachers lied about an incident, I was called in to a meeting and made to feel like I was guilty until proven guilty. Policy and procedure at my work place was totally violated and I should never have been called into the meeting in the first place. After an investigation it was shown that I not only did nothing wrong but that the Koreans making the complaint violated policy and rules at my work place. I wrote an official letter detailing my feelings on the matter and I was called into a second meeting in which the one foreign person in the Human Resources Department apologized to me and informed me that action was being taken against these teachers. It's my belief that this so called "action" will go something like this....."Don't do that again."

When administration thought I had done something wrong they were very aggressive but as soon as they found out they were wrong they wanted the whole thing to go away. Now, you can do a lot of things to me but messing with my good name is not one of them. I don't care what country I'm in if you threaten my reputation I will come after you with everything that I have. I knew I could write entertaining stories but I didn't realize I was also good at writing professional letters threatening legal action if matters were not cleared up quickly.

Now that every things over I find myself not even wanting to work here any more and truth be told I would just leave at the end of my contract this month but I'm going to leave on my terms not anyone Else's. That might sound stubborn but I feel like this can be a learning moment for everyone involved here. In a year where Obama became the first black president of the United States there was no way I was going to allow myself to be disrespected like this so I stood up for myself big time.

Some of the teacher's at my workplace have nicknamed me "bulletproof" but I told them that a person should never be afraid to stand up for what the believe is right even when the consequences may be harsh. Part of that means being honest with yourself and other people about how you feel. I've spent the past few years in a fog of uncomfortable silence. I'm finding my voice again and it feels right. Ironically, I feel like my time in Korea has put me in touch with my center. I'm learning how to trust again and I'm learning how to accept affection from others. Even a simple hand to the shoulder was difficult at first. I felt like one of those kids who gets lost in the wild and hasn't had any human contact for years but then suddenly gets reintroduced to people. I put up one hell of a wall as one of my friends recently told me.

I think that's why I'm getting anxious to see so many of my friends back in the U.S. I feel like I'm going to see of you in color for the first time and that's exciting. Except you Alex, you'll always be a black and white piece of shit! But I'm so excited to see and talk to the rest of you. I'm thankful to have such great people in my life and I can't wait to spend time with my good friends again because I really understand how important it is to have people you can rely on in your life. My relationships with you have been good but now I'm in a space where they can be great.

Some of you seem to be enjoying these letters I get from Korean students so I'll leave this blog with one of the latest. This one is from anonymous:

Dear Kris Teachar,
You have big eyes and bright smile. You smile like
Santa but not light skin. When I see you I say Hello and
you put hand on my shuldar and laugh like Santa. Kris you
have very big hands like monstar. Ha,ha,ha. But I dont think
you monstar I think you angel but black angel. Where is your
hair teachar? Can I see you again? I hope so. When I
say you I am gay you say okay and smile. I am not really
GAY Kris teachar but you are kind to me anyways. Thank you
teachar, bye.