I think I'm engaged!!!

Tonight I had dinner at my friends parents house. I made the mistake of telling Jo Young I wasn't feeling well yesterday after work and he insisted that I come into Seoul with him on Saturday for dinner with his family. So tonight I ate with Jo Young, his mother, his father, his grandmother, his younger brother, his two sisters, and some woman who seemed lost. This is obviously my the week of awkward events because this dinner was awkward as hell. It was also one of the most entertaining nights I've had in a long time. So when Koreans eat they eat. It's a freaking spread man. That table was full of soups, meats, veggies, fruits, dried fish, booze and of course cakes. Being that I don't feel that great I tried to stick to the soup but momma Young was not having it. I'm pretty sure papa Young was talking shit about me when I attempted to politely refuse the booze. I looked a Jo and he made his eyes real big which I took to mean "just drink the damn soju!" So I did. Papa Young didn't know who he was messing around with. Let's just say when I left I had a slight buzz but papa Young was sloppy...it was sad!

Truth be told I feel a hell of a lot better. The English at the table was okay, at least among the younger crowd but my interactions with the older folks consisted of smiles, a few winks, grandma young touching the hair on my arms and the strange lost lady staring at me like I killed her cat. I had a special Korean soup (the name escapes me) that was made "especially" for me to cure my sickness. As I drank this broth mama Young looked at me triumphantly. Seriously, it was a look of great pride on this woman's face.

I'm not pretending like I know the ins and outs of Korean culture. I think I would have to be here for at least 5 years before I started to really understand things but I'm pretty sure I violated some serious rules tonight. Before I go into that let me explain something a little further. I'm not one of those people who goes to a foreign country or becomes friends with people from different cultures and then starts acting like they know everything about the people. The truth of the matter is I will never really know what it's like to be Korean or have an understanding of the culture the way Koreans do. All I can do is be open to this experience and learn the lessons that are being taught to me. I think it's kind of ridiculous when people start acting like they wrote the book. I'm a little frustrated right now because this person who works at my school started arguing with the Koreans about what it's like to be Korean. I was about 2 seconds aways from telling him to shut the fuck up when he got upset and walked out of the computer lab. Total side story. Back to my dinner.

So Jo's younger sisters are both in college studying art. Their stuff is all over the house actually and they seem to have some real talent, in particular with paper crafts. Again, I don't pretend to be an expert on Korean culture but I'm pretty sure I'm engaged to Jo's younger sister now. I don't really know how it happened or what I said exactly but I'm gonna have to talk to Jo on Monday and let him know that the kid is not available for marriage!

Here's what happened. Papa Young was getting drunk off the soju and I was feeling loose. Mama Young was bothering Jo about being single and Jo was deflecting on to me. Kim, one of Jo's sisters who has really good English started chatting me up. I mentioned that I liked this paper lamp they had in their house and she blushed. I looked at Jo like "what the fuck is going on?" and Jo just sat there oblivious. Kim then said something in Korean to her sister and they started giggling. Whenever I hear Korean women giggling after looking at me I assume I'm being compared to something I probably don't wanna be compared to. But the night went on, dishes start to get cleared and here's where I think I really messed up. I got up and started to help and I took my dish, Kim's dish and Cho's dish (Cho was the other sister).

Now the look on Jo's face told me I fucked up. Mama Young had a look on her face like I just urinated all over the table and papa Young started laughing like a mad man. I think it was the laughter that saved me cause the other people at the table started laughing. Mama Young slapped my hands from the dishes while shaking her head but the look on Kim's face was one of amazement. I got the impression that a man has never tried to clear her dish for her and I also got the impression I had accidentally shown some kind of interests in her.

Anybody who knows me knows that I am clueless when it comes to a girl liking me. I'm sure my ex-girlfriends might say I'm also clueless when it comes to a girl not liking me too but that's not what I'm talking about right now. When it was time for me to leave and I was saying good-bye Kim comes up to me with the lamp I had admired in her hand. The room grew quiet and Jo looked as confused as I'm sure I did. She told me to take the lamp and I started to refuse but the look on the rest of her families face told me I should just take the lamp, bow and say thank you. I thought about asking Jo how to say "You don't want anything to do with me I'm a broken man" in Korean but I didn't. It's a nice lamp but I think it means I'm now engaged to Kim. I have no desire to marry and I will flee the country in the dead of night if I have to. The fact that Kim looks like she's 13 years old doesn't really help either. Oh Korea.

Now that my time in this country is winding down I want to hang out with some of the Korean friends I've made during my time here but if I accidentally get engaged every time I go to a family dinner this is going to be a long 5 months.