Late night phone calls and silent dreams

A few nights ago I was woken up by my phone ringing and on the other line was my brother. He had miscalculated the time difference and was calling to have my niece talk to me for a little bit. It had been her birthday and they were calling to say hello. My niece is five years old and I have only seen her twice really. Once when she was a little baby and the other time when she was just learning to walk. Needless to say I don't think she remembers me or really knows who I am. I understand these things happen when one lives on the other side of the country and doesn't come home very often. By very often I mean I might venture back to Michigan once every two years. I have not been back to Michigan for almost three years this time out.

Before Talia got on the phone I had a flashback of my own youth and being forced by my parents to talk to relatives I didn't know. When Talia got on the phone I started laughing because I could tell she didn't really know who I was. When your that age being on the phone with a stranger can just be "strange" so I didn't want to keep her to long. I remember being asked a litany of questions at that age and I don't remember enjoying those questions. So I asked her how she was doing, if she enjoyed her birthday and that I would see her next summer.

I don't talk to children like most people talk to children. I think they can understand more then we give them credit for. People tend to talk to "special needs" people in the same fashion but I refuse to do that too. The last little kid I had an in-depth conversation with was Danielle's little brother and that young man has some amazing insight for someone so young. I can remember unknown family members asking me very slowly, "How...old...are...you?" I'd be like, "Dude, I'm seven, what the fuck are you talking like that for?" "Are..you...a...good...boy?" I never understood that question. That's a question you ask when you can't think of anything else to say. It's not like some kid is gonna say, "Nope, I'm really bad!"

When she got off the phone with me Talia threw me a little "I love you." The one thing I've gotten really good at is being able to tell when someone doesn't mean what they are saying and my cute little niece was totally instructed to throw her uncle Chris an I love you. It was nice to hear but I'm going to make it my goal to have her mean it the next time she says it to me. Of course she doesn't really love me yet, she doesn't know me. Besides the whole blood relation thing I've been totally absent from her young life. I can't tell you how many "I love yous" I through out to total strangers when I was little. I love my little niece because I remember holding her and playing silly games with her. I love her because she's my niece and wonderful little soul. I'm pretty sure she's closer to the stuffed animal I gave her a few years ago than she is with me. Sad but true. True but not set in stone...lucky for me.

Okay, switching gears. I had some work done on my mouth yesterday and I am in so much pain right now I'm considering taking pain pills, which is a pretty big deal since I don't take pills. It hurts to talk right now. Which leads me to the dream I had last night. I'm not asking for feedback on this one unless your just dying to share with me. Here goes, I was walking through a park and noticed that everybody was using sign language to communicate with each other. The strange thing was that I could understand what they were communicating to each other. Every time someone walked by me they made the heart sign with their hands and then broke their hands apart. They would then go back to signing with each other. I was completely silent and did not say a single word until the very end of the dream. A tiny old woman came up to me and beckoned for me to lean down. I did and she whispered something into my ear but I can remember what she said. I just know that I woke up saying "Really?" Needless to say I'm kind of frustrated right now. It's on the tip of my tongue but I can't remember, I feel like it was pretty damn important though.

Well, I gotta go. Don't forget to vote.